Eeeeee.....

Christmas eve dinner was going quite smoothly. Past tense. Then the Girl spoke. I mentioned that I had not gone to a family party because I stayed in MD for a bachelor party. The 'rents asked where the party was. I stated that the first half was at Ellicott Mills Brewery, and that the second was at a strip club. This is about as far as I wanted to take the conversation.

That is not, however, how far she wanted to take it. "Guess what else! Your son got a lap dance. And guess what else! He put dollar bills in strippers' G-strings." She had to tell my parents. Now she's going to sleep on the sofa tonight for causing me the most awkward Christmas eve dinner I've ever had.

Oddly enough, that wasn't the end. "Guess what else! That's where we're going to have our baby shower!" Yeah, she went there. My dad was the only one there to stand up for me. My wife was clearly not doing a stellar job of it. I wonder what I can get for this particular slight. PS3? Computer? I think it deserves something...

Spawn of Satan

The girl and I got to hang out with Irene tonight. It was fun. Irene made a tasty meal of risotto and salad, and for dessert... tiramisu. I love tiramisu. Then we hung out and talked all night. Irene's a ball of fun. She has some interesting qualities too. Somehow, you can get her to laugh to the point that she does all of laugh, hiccup, and burp simultaneously. It's one of the funniest things I've ever heard.

The other bit of humor involved her stomach. It seemed to speak all night to the point that we figure she's going to spawn the anti-christ sometime in the near future. "Mwarwarmwarwar..." All night long. It's pretty impressive. Then, when the hellspawn comes, her completely perfectly circular toilet will probably eat it and send it back to hell.

It's been an interesting night...