Thank You

Throughout this mess, there have been a few good things to happen. Mainly, we've realized that we're lucky to have such wonderful family and friends. Everybody has just done so much for us. You have all cooked and kept us company and consoled us when we've cried and taken our minds off of our tragedy and generally just been the most supportive people we could ever have hoped to have.

So thank you everybody! Thank you Mom and Dad and Matt. Thank you mom-in-law and dad-in-law and brother-in-law. Thank you Amanda. Thank you Karina and Kohnke. Thank you Sandrew. Thank you Katie and Jon. Thank you Laura and Jonah. Thank you Ken and Liz. Thank you Tim and Samantha. Thank you so much for helping us feel better and for waiting on us and providing for us and being so generous. Thank you also to everybody who has sent us a card letting us know you're thinking of us.

The Worst Day of My Life

It's been nine days since it happened. It's taken me this long to build up the courage or the ability to write about it without collapsing into a ball of tears and blubber on the kitchen floor. I probably won't even make it through writing this.

On New Year's Eve, the Girl had pains in her abdominal area. After awhile, she realized they were semi-regular, and that we should probably time them. I search all over the Internets and eventually thought that this was a case of Braxton-Hicks contractions. It was way to early for anything else. When she noticed blood, I panicked.

We called the doctor, got in my RSX, and did 80 mph down Rt 2 to get to the Anne Arundel Medical Center. I pulled into the spot doing 30, stopped, and a nice nurse helped us to where we needed to be. We went into the triage room and I was panicking. The first thing they did was look for the heartbeat, which they didn't find right away. I freaked out, and then suddenly they came across it and I collapsed and started crying the first time. I was so scared the baby was hurt. That was about the only good thing that happened...

The bad news began here. They told us that they thought she was in labor. I don't understand why or how. All I know is that I was back to panicking. As soon as they said it, I asked if our baby even had a chance at survival. They told us that they were going to see how far along the labor was, and, if it was early enough, they'd try to prevent the labor for up to six weeks. I really hoped that this would work out. At 29 weeks, a baby has a much greater chance of survival. At 23, there's next to none.

They took her to a delivery room, and when they checked her out, they told she was fully dilated and that the baby was coming. I nearly had a heart attack. They asked the Girl if she wanted an epidural, to which she said yes. Before the doctor even left the room, the baby was coming, though. About 30 seconds later, at 7:48 PM, our baby boy was born. They immediately took him over to a NICU table to try to help him. His lungs, heart, and esophagus had not developed to the point that he was ready to come. They kept trying to intubate him to help him breathe, but his poor little passageways were just too small. He tried so hard.

At 8:30 PM, our baby boy died in our arms. He never got to cry, never got to open his eyes. About all he got to do was hold the Girl's finger. I never got to feel him kick in the womb.

Now, all I can think about is how his life was robbed. He'll never get to experience the things we've grown to love and hate. He'll never get the chance to walk, to cry, to laugh, or play. He'll never get the chance to go rock climbing or play soccer. He'll never get the chance to learn everything he may or may not have wanted to learn. He'll never get the chance to appreciate the beauties in the world. He'll never get to experience the wonders that happen every day.

Rest in peace, baby bear. Rest in peace, Andrew Gregory Ambler.

Movie Boycott

Based on tonight's movie-going experience, I've decided to instantiate a boycott on certain movies. I can't stand stupid, unrealistic sequences unless the reality set forth in that particular movie has already dictated or indicated that it's possible. For instance, I don't mind if a person teleports if the movie dictates or indicates somehow that people can teleport. I don't mind if people can fly, or if they can time travel, or anything else, as it corresponds to the reality of the movie. I have a good suspension of disbelief. I hate special effects for the sake of special effects, though. Sometimes, flashiness hurts a movie.

With that in mind, here is the (probably soon to grow) list of movie-related people I'm boycotting...

• Michael Bay - Only Bad Boys was good. Transformers was passable.


• Stephen Spielberg - Enough grey. This is largely based on the latest Indiana Jones flick, though.


• George Lucas - See Stephen Spielberg. I'm looking at you, Indy.


• Louis Leterrier - He directed Transporter 2, which is the original inspiration for this train of thought. I can't stand this movie.
  

I'm sure this list will grow. I'll update it as I come across examples of bad movie-making, unless I've already stabbed myself in the eyes with a fork as the lesser of two evils to watching another movie of this sort.

Useful Sites

Just check out this site. It's got a lot of useful links for you.

And here's one for you Mac lovers.

Grindhouse

A day or two ago, an interesting thing began happening. The Girl's car decided to randomly start making a grinding noise similar to one you might hear if you decided to draw and quarter a robot. My brother being awesome, he figured out what the problem was at about 11:30 PM last night. I had missed it. He saw that a length of rope got wrapped around the car's transaxle. After winding about a bit, it got sufficiently tangled and collapsed the CV boot that protects the joint where the wheel assembly meets the transaxle. So, my brother and I were up until 2 AM taking the wheel off the car and cutting the friggin' rope away with a small collapsible knife.

What's more fun, of course, is that the car still makes the noise. Apparently, the noise began when the boot collapsed. So the teeth of the gear at the end of the transaxle are hitting the collapsed CV boot. Humor being what it is, the boot is just a plastic covering. However, to replace it, I think the entire wheel assembly has to be taken apart. I expect that this will be expensive...

Eeeeee.....

Christmas eve dinner was going quite smoothly. Past tense. Then the Girl spoke. I mentioned that I had not gone to a family party because I stayed in MD for a bachelor party. The 'rents asked where the party was. I stated that the first half was at Ellicott Mills Brewery, and that the second was at a strip club. This is about as far as I wanted to take the conversation.

That is not, however, how far she wanted to take it. "Guess what else! Your son got a lap dance. And guess what else! He put dollar bills in strippers' G-strings." She had to tell my parents. Now she's going to sleep on the sofa tonight for causing me the most awkward Christmas eve dinner I've ever had.

Oddly enough, that wasn't the end. "Guess what else! That's where we're going to have our baby shower!" Yeah, she went there. My dad was the only one there to stand up for me. My wife was clearly not doing a stellar job of it. I wonder what I can get for this particular slight. PS3? Computer? I think it deserves something...

Spawn of Satan

The girl and I got to hang out with Irene tonight. It was fun. Irene made a tasty meal of risotto and salad, and for dessert... tiramisu. I love tiramisu. Then we hung out and talked all night. Irene's a ball of fun. She has some interesting qualities too. Somehow, you can get her to laugh to the point that she does all of laugh, hiccup, and burp simultaneously. It's one of the funniest things I've ever heard.

The other bit of humor involved her stomach. It seemed to speak all night to the point that we figure she's going to spawn the anti-christ sometime in the near future. "Mwarwarmwarwar..." All night long. It's pretty impressive. Then, when the hellspawn comes, her completely perfectly circular toilet will probably eat it and send it back to hell.

It's been an interesting night...

Insensitivity At Its Finest

The girl already talked about this, but I didn't know she was worried pretty heavily about it. The F-ing doctor's office called this morning and left us a cryptic message saying that the baby's kidney looked small on the sonogram and that we need to return for another. They left no further explanation. They didn't bother telling us not to worry. Nothing...

So, after she called back, they told her that they suspect that her fibroid was in the way of the kidney measurement. Apparently, though, that doesn't allay her fears that something is wrong. Now I have to wake tomorrow morning so that I can call the doctor and find out what it might mean. That phone call was damned insensitive of a doctor's office that knows all of its patients are expecting and horribly nervous that everything will be fine for the child. Now, so are we. F-ing hell...

Pretzel Beer: Bottling

Well, the pretzel beer is done and bottled. I'm calling it "Four for a Dollar" because we added pretzels from Philadelphia. For the unindoctrinated, in Philly, you can stop at many street corners and pick up four nice, large soft pretzels in a brown paper bag for a dollar. It's tastiness at it's greatest (and cheapest). So, we made the American Wheat beer recipe from Maryland Homebrew and it's in bottles. Yield: ~28 bottles. We had a little bit of the uncarbonated, warm beer and it was pretty good. It's also a nice color red. I think, once it's carbonated, it'll be pretty tasty.

Snowboard Season Begins

Snowboarding was awesome! Ken and I, along with his ski/snowboard club, went to Seven Springs today. It was fantastic! Besides the weirdness of earlier (the carbecue), all sorts of other things happened.

On the way to the mountain we stopped at Sheetz. It has a better name according to the head of the group, but I can't currently remember it. At the mountain, I regained my snowboarding composure relatively quickly and also got to ride in UNPACKED POWDER for the first time ever. It was a dream. I want to go to Colorado. Hopefully New York in January and Vermont in February are sufficient. This is going to be a good season.

On both the way up and the way back, we saw a windmill farm pumping out the energy. I love seeing stuff like that. A picture might follow sometime. On the way back, we also saw the legs of a dead deer (I'm guessing hunted, and not roadkill) sticking up out of the back of a pickup truck. We also stopped at a Sheetz on the way home, whose nickname is now "Dirty Sheetz." You'll never guess why. It turns out buffalo sauce on a cheese steak, though not a Philadelphia thing, still makes my taste buds leap off my tongue and do a dance.

Now I'm home, clean and full of hot chocolate, and ready to sleep in tomorrow! I love snowboarding! Let the season begin!